In the last months I've been asking myself whether my 3+ years in Uganda aren't starting to be too long here. And then I came across this scarily accurate (and for insiders hilarious) "You know you've been in Uganda for too long when..." list.
Now I know. I HAVE been here for too long.
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You know you've been in Uganda for too long when:
Now I know. I HAVE been here for too long.
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You know you've been in Uganda for too long when:
…you no longer get annoyed when people lie to you and make promises they can't possibly keep
…seeing someone speeding towards you in the wrong lane seems completely normal
…you find yourself pointing with your lips and saying "yes" by raising both eyebrows.
…you can masterfully employ a variety of "Eh!" and "Eh eh!" noises to convey a range of meanings
…you know that "Come back tomorrow at 10:00 a.m." means whatever you're trying to get done is NEVER going to happen
…you start using the words "even" and "ever" in places you would never have ("Even me, I'm feeling hungry," or "I have ever done that")
…you start referring to people as "this one" or "that one"
…you willingly drive into oncoming traffic just to avoid the potholes
…you can speak Uganglish so well that you talk with a Ugandan accent and use words like "shocked", "fearing", "extend", "balance", ''somehow", "even me", "can you imagine" and "are you sure?" far too often...
…you know the load shedding schedule by heart
…when you come back from being out of the country and conversations go as:
They: "You have been lost!!" and your response: "I have been found!"
They: "How is there?" and you: "There is fine!"
They: "You have gone fat!!!" and you are lost for words because you have forgotten how frank Ugandans are
…you emphasize how you like something and they say: "Are you sure?"
…someone calls out your name and your reply is: "I am the one!"
…you end the conversation with "ok please"
…you ask for someone, and you know the answer "He's within" means everything from "He's within the building" to "He's within the city" or even "He's within the country".
…you start sentences with "As for me, I…."
…you get "I'm fine" as a reply to your "Hi".
…clothes becomes a two-syllable word. Clo - thes.
…your handshakes last an entire conversation
…your home does not have an address
…next to a public phone at the bottom of the call cost there is a charge for beeping
…people walk into your house and you say "You are all most welcome!"
…you think "eh" in a high pitch tone is the correct way to respond when a boda driver's price suggestion is too high.
For those who managed to read up to here I also add that I'm still in Lira and I've recently signed a contract extension until early September, when the second of my three projects here finishes. After September there's an all-is-possible-blank for the moment - right now I'm not sure if I'd want to stay longer even if I was offered to. What I am sure is that once I do finish here, whenever that is, I'll want to take a few months off for a good holiday, which will definitely include visiting friends I've not seen for toooooo long (as well as revisiting those I did manage to see recently :-) ). I really look forward to that. And the rest I guess I'll just figure out with time :-)
…seeing someone speeding towards you in the wrong lane seems completely normal
…you find yourself pointing with your lips and saying "yes" by raising both eyebrows.
…you can masterfully employ a variety of "Eh!" and "Eh eh!" noises to convey a range of meanings
…you know that "Come back tomorrow at 10:00 a.m." means whatever you're trying to get done is NEVER going to happen
…you start using the words "even" and "ever" in places you would never have ("Even me, I'm feeling hungry," or "I have ever done that")
…you start referring to people as "this one" or "that one"
…you willingly drive into oncoming traffic just to avoid the potholes
…you can speak Uganglish so well that you talk with a Ugandan accent and use words like "shocked", "fearing", "extend", "balance", ''somehow", "even me", "can you imagine" and "are you sure?" far too often...
…you know the load shedding schedule by heart
…when you come back from being out of the country and conversations go as:
They: "You have been lost!!" and your response: "I have been found!"
They: "How is there?" and you: "There is fine!"
They: "You have gone fat!!!" and you are lost for words because you have forgotten how frank Ugandans are
…you emphasize how you like something and they say: "Are you sure?"
…someone calls out your name and your reply is: "I am the one!"
…you end the conversation with "ok please"
…you ask for someone, and you know the answer "He's within" means everything from "He's within the building" to "He's within the city" or even "He's within the country".
…you start sentences with "As for me, I…."
…you get "I'm fine" as a reply to your "Hi".
…clothes becomes a two-syllable word. Clo - thes.
…your handshakes last an entire conversation
…your home does not have an address
…next to a public phone at the bottom of the call cost there is a charge for beeping
…people walk into your house and you say "You are all most welcome!"
…you think "eh" in a high pitch tone is the correct way to respond when a boda driver's price suggestion is too high.
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Uganda crane, the national bird. |
For those who managed to read up to here I also add that I'm still in Lira and I've recently signed a contract extension until early September, when the second of my three projects here finishes. After September there's an all-is-possible-blank for the moment - right now I'm not sure if I'd want to stay longer even if I was offered to. What I am sure is that once I do finish here, whenever that is, I'll want to take a few months off for a good holiday, which will definitely include visiting friends I've not seen for toooooo long (as well as revisiting those I did manage to see recently :-) ). I really look forward to that. And the rest I guess I'll just figure out with time :-)
Eh!
ReplyDeleteYou are not muzungu... You are a Ugandan now...
:-D